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Trapper Sam O’Keefe’s “Foggy Eyes”

Posted on Sunday, December 11, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Hunting season is upon us folks, and I’d like to talk about it a while, and I will, but not until next week. Lately folks, and by lately I mean the last four or five years, I’ve come across a cultural phenomenon, maybe it’s technological and not cultural, I don’t know, that’s been upsetting me quite severely.

How many of you drive an automobile?  Most of you, I bet. Now let’s get to a bigger issue…How many of you have noticed the stupid things people do while driving? Just think about the last week. How many idiotic things have you seen on the road?  Me? Well, this past week I saw a whole lot of stupid going on. A woman put on mascara, a little too heavily if you ask me. A man was shaving. Yes, it was with an electric razor. Thank God for that. A woman read a sales flyer from the grocery store (from what I saw, fresh green beans and loaves of French bread were on sale). And, like Ripley said, believe it or not, I saw a man fixing a bowl of cereal, frosted flakes I think. And lots of people gawked at them, myself included.

Now we’ve all done things behind the wheel we shouldn’t, or at least things that should at least give us pause. Personally, I routinely eat while driving, and drink too (no, not alcohol), but when you’re thirsty, you’re thirsty. I’m sure I’m not alone there. And, of course I’ve driven when I was sleepy. Who hasn’t? But that other stuff those people did? None of it has ever even crossed my mind.

But let’s move on.

Do you remember that automobile I mentioned before? Well, how many of you drive that automobile at night? Again, I’d figure most of you. In fact, I’d go so far as to guess nearly everyone who previously answered, “Me.” Now, how many of you have noticed the inconsiderate things other drivers do? By inconsiderate I mean things like not dimming the headlights for oncoming traffic, not dimming them when you come up behind somebody. And then there’s the thing that upsets me as much, maybe more, than all those other things. How many of you have noticed how many vehicles have fog lights? And how many of those fog lights are used when it’s not foggy? That’s what gets me. The next time an oncoming car/truck/suv is coming out of the darkness toward you with the regular headlights (albeit on low beam) and fog lights blasting, notice how bright those lights are. They’re as bright, if not brighter than the high beams.

Every time I see that I think how angry it makes me, but then I think how many accidents have been caused by the blindness induced by these inconsiderate actions.

So next time folks, ask yourself, “What Would Trapper Do?”

Here are the simple answers…Put the makeup on before you leave home. Shave before you leave. Eat beforehand. Read the flyer any other time. Get enough rest the night before.

And dim your daggum lights. Have a good week, and remember, if you folks out there have any comments, suggestions, or just want to say hello, you can email me at trappersam.okeefe@yahoo.com.