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“Once Again, Nada”

Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2011 at 9:01 am

This article may sound a bit familiar, but life, like summertime television, is full of repeats. Even that last line is a rerun. But, as many of you may remember from last year, and the one before, and probably the one before that, I’ve had a series of unfortunate deer seasons.
Here’s a recap of last year: Alas dear friends, the mighty Trapper has struck out…again.
I wasn’t too upset though. Every time you pull the goose egg is one more cleaning up of an animal you don’t have to do. Nope, instead I picked up some supper for Marilyn and me and went on home to finish the finishing touches on the outside Christmas decorations.
I just took it easy after that though. I put my feet up, kicked back, and watched some tv; one of those holiday specials.
I stayed up quite a bit later than usual that night. It was nearly one in the morning when I took old Og the dog out for his last walk. I leashed him up, grabbed a flashlight and braced for the bitter, bitter cold.
I was shining my light around as Og was…well, he was doing what dogs do when they’re taken outside…anyway, I shone that little light over onto the field beside my place. And do you know what I saw?
That’s right folks, right there, less than a hundred feet from my truck, stood three daggum deer.
And I couldn’t do nothing about it. I was just eight dagnab hours late for those sons of guns.
I was mad enough to run them four-legged taunting so-and-sos down on foot and jump on their backs like some kind of broncbuster.
But, I, eventually –very, very eventually – calmed down. I got to thinking though: Ain’t that like a dang deer.
He runs and hides in some hole a groundhog’d be proud to call home until eight dagnab hours after season’s over.
Then he comes out and shakes his little white tail at you. That’s right folks, deer are bigger flirts than any woman you ever laid eyes on.
And here are the drastically different happenings of this year:
Alas dear friends, the mighty Trapper has struck out…again.
I wasn’t too upset though. Every time you pull the goose egg is one more cleaning up of an animal you don’t have to do. Nope, instead I picked up some supper for Marilyn and me and went on home to finish the finishing touches on the outside Christmas decorations.
I just took it easy after that though. I put my feet up, kicked back, and watched some tv; one of those holiday specials, albeit a different one than last year.
I went to bed at a reasonable hour, but still slept in the next morning. Og the dog came-a-calling about ten in the morning, so I leashed him up and outside we went. We headed to the field out back, and do you know what I saw?
That’s right folks, right there, in the middle of my tater patch, stood four daggum deer. And I couldn’t do nothing about it. They waited to the season was over, crawled out of their groundhog holes, stuck their hooves in their ears and went, “Pppppp! Neener neener neener!”
Then they turned and walked away, calmly. That calmly bit is what got me, reminded me of that poor coyote getting taunted by that arrogant (I’d prefer another word there folks) roadrunner.
I wanted to punch something just then, but I took a deep breath, turned around and said, “Come on, Og.”
There’s no joy in the O’Keefe house, for Mighty Casey has struck out, again.
Have a good week, and remember, if you folks out there have any comments, suggestions, or just want to say hello, you can email me at trappersam.okeefe@yahoo.com.